Laundry wars

Saturday 12^th October

Loads of stories circulate about the altercations in the laundry. They seem to circulate on every ship and it’s always ‘I spoke to someone who talked to someone who was there.’ So far I have heard the following stories.

·         One woman left a red dress in the dryer. She returned to find it gone. Some days later she saw another passenger wearing it.

·         Two passengers had such a heated argument that one hit the other with an iron. Both passengers were put off the ship.

·         One woman slapped another in the face. That supposedly happened on this voyage and the guilty party was put off in Malta.

·         People leave their washing in the washer or the dryer and go off for hours. The next person needing a machine takes it out and puts it in a basket. Along comes the first woman, most irate: ‘You touched my washing. Nobody touches my washing!’

·         One woman, in a discussion of this on the internet, told us of the time she removed someone’s washing from the dryer and saw that it should be ironed immediately after drying. As she had nothing to do she stood there and ironed another person’s clothes. I wish she’d come my way!

By this stage in the cruise I needed to wash. I approached the laundry with great interest, to see what would happen. On the whole I thought we had a great time, and we laughed about all the laundry stories. 

However, at one point things turned nasty and I could have witnessed an argument if one passenger had not been extremely patient and forebearing when verbally attacked.

It all started well. I took my laundry to Deck 5 laundromat to find 4 smiling, happy people. I stood in a queue for the washing machine. In walked Woman in Red to find a queue there so she left. Five minutes later she kindly returned to inform me that there were empty machines on Deck 6. I returned. Not being proficient with the machines, I was slightly slow, so Abrupt Lady kindly turned the dial for me to the best setting. I went off to breakfast and returned later to find the machine still going. Woman in Red arrived about the same time. Abrupt Lady turned to her and said, ‘You don’t remember me, do you? We played skittles together on the first day. As we left in the lift, your husband said “Some people are lazy bastards”. I’ll have you know I have two artificial knees and plates in my back (etc. etc.) and I can’t walk down the stairs.’ Woman in Red quietly said that she didn’t believe it was her husband, as he does not use such language. (Imagine the Laundry War that could have erupted if she had been less diplomatic and kind.) I tried engaging Abrupt Lady in conversation but she was definitely angry and did not want to engage in conversation. She put in ear buds and ironed for 15 minutes while I waited for her dryer. Apart from that, I had a lovely time! We chatted and laughed and helped each other. I am now an expert on how to use the machines, due to the advice of everyone else, even though I don’t think I actually got to turn a single knob myself. (The experience was certainly a reminder of the physical pressures that many passengers are under, that we cannot always see.)