The Handbag Wars

Saturday 5^th October

What started as a friendly dancing crowd can soon degenerate! There are too many dancers and not enough prime seats. Worst of all, on Ball nights lots of new people come in and the established dancers may end up sitting right at the back, where the Hosts don’t see them to ask them to dance, and where they can’t see the professionals perform. The coveted seats are those opposite the band – about eight seats in the front row – known to some as ‘Barracuda Alley’.

I arrived about 10 minutes early for the first dance session in order to get a good seat, only to find that the centre three seats were already ‘booked’ with handbags. That did not leave enough seats on either side for the group with whom I sit. However, that was no problem as Hazel had arrived 45 minutes early and staked out a set of four seats on the side, leaving her Aged Aunt to sit there all that time minding them for us. While the other group went off for the 45 minutes between dancing sessions leaving their handbags again, our group took turns sitting in our seats and giggling over the Handbag Wars.

I heard the next day that about five people had complained about the Hosts, saying they were dancing more with some people than with others. Perhaps I should take my laptop along to the dances and start a spreadsheet of who dances with whom, to help them?!!! It’s sad. There are times when I sit there for six or more dances, watching the others at my table dance twice in a row. However, there are also times when I have to refuse a dance with a Host because I have just danced the last two with other Hosts. It’s impossible for them to spread out the dances evenly, but they do their best to be fair. What is very sad is looking about the room, at all these women with whom I have laughed and joked, and wondering who is complaining. And are they complaining about me? I had three dances with Martin and someone (one of the Handbags) told me she only had one – but then complained that she felt nervous the whole way through! I should think she’d be glad she didn’t have more. I, meanwhile, rejoiced in him teaching me moves I’ve only seen on Strictly Come Dancing – Throwaway Oversway, Same-Foot Lunge – dancing with Martin is a joyful challenge punctuated by moments of panic as I come out on the wrong foot. He is kind enough to tell me I follow him easily (it doesn’t feel like it from my side of the dance) and I have been taught well.

Here are the professionals dancing at the Masquerade Ball.